Being Looked After

I’m always sleepy. Since I moved out of my house to specialist disability accommodation, I have felt a lot more tired. I think I may have always felt like this but I didn’t let myself give in to it because I was too busy trying to keep myself alive. I think I vaguely remember falling asleep on the couch despite willing myself not to, but now that I have a caring disability support worker to look after me every day, I can give into my sleepiness… Zzzz….

Sorry, I fell asleep. I’ve been falling asleep anywhere and everywhere recently. It’s just so easy to give in to the feeling of my heavy eyelids. I feel like falling asleep just feels so good. When you have that warm feeling wash over you and you can’t wake up, even though you’re not fully asleep yet. Wow. I love the feeling of being asleep so much that now even when I am just sitting on the couch in the common area, I am slightly dozing off. Even whilst I think all of this, I am lulling myself to sleep. Thinking about sleep is like meditation. I really love it. 

The best thing my family could have done was send me to a community nursing facility in Adelaide. I didn’t realise how much I was struggling to look after myself. I thought because I was/am of a sound mind, that I shouldn’t be in specialist accommodation. I was wrong. Now that I know what it’s like to live such a stress-free life, I would never go back to living on my own ever again. 

Anyway, I’ve done enough thinking for one day. For the rest of the day, I’m going to sit in the common room with my eyes closed and listen to the chatter around me. I can hear people playing checkers, people talking to their family on the phone, nurses helping people. I will listen to these sounds before falling into a blissful sleep.